Trever and I had a very interesting conversation about the pain we are feeling. It's such an intense pain, but I feel at a loss when I want to explain it. The experience is so complex, so much beauty mixed with the sadness and longing for Abigail. It all happened so quickly, and really the journey was so wonderful. I feel like a crazy person because sometimes I seriously sit and wonder where my deep sadness comes from... how can I be so sad while loving my life so much and also treasuring our beautiful story???