Saturday, February 2, 2013

February 2nd, 2013

I've gone back to work.  I'm glad that I took time to be with family and to somewhat protect myself from the masses for a while.  I feel like I'm in a comfortable spot now, so it's good to be back.  Even if there are emotional challenges.

On my last trip there was a family of 6 that caught my eye in the airport.  The kids were similar in age to my kids, and the youngest was in an infant carrier.  It's impossible for me to see a family like that and not think about our loss.  To know that I thought I would have a growing baby, about 6 months old. 

On most of my flights I've had at least one baby.  I have to laugh at myself.  I just want to hold those babies, to just walk around and snuggle them (especially when the baby is a girl).  Can you imagine if I told the parents why I'm so drawn to their baby?  That my arms feel so empty. 

The strange thing is that (so far) I don't feel the same about babies that I know.  Well, other than sweet little Ava.  My arms can't get enough of her. 

Maybe I just haven't been around other babies as much. 

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