I was staring at our screen saver this afternoon. It's a picture from when Andrew was 3 months old. (Maybe I should update???)
I often find myself thinking in terms of Before v. After. That picture was taken Before.
What if we had stopped growing our family at 3 children?
We would have missed so much. We wouldn't have known it, but our lives wouldn't be as wonderful. We would have missed the opportunity to learn so much, to love so much, to embrace the pain and the joy.
I'm so thankful that we decided to open our hearts to another child.
And I'm so thankful that we opened our hearts to loving Abigail. Our lives are rich with the gifts she brought to us.
Some days I can feel my love for her, other days my walls are up and I can only think about my love.
I feel distant from Abigail today. I can't feel her in my arms. I can't get to that special place that I share with her. It makes me feel sad to be distant from her, to realize that my heart is distracted.
Maybe I'll go snuggle all my kids and then spend some time with my Abby Bear.