Monday, June 25, 2012

June 25th, 2012

We had a doctors appointment today.  Everything is going along great.  Abby is 3lbs 7ozs. She is small, but continuing to grow steadily.  At this point I think it's fair to hope that she'll be around 5 pounds at birth.  And all other areas of her health seem to remain steady (big heart problem but no other major problems).  We're so blessed.

I realize lately as people ask me how I'm doing that I'm doing great.  Sometimes I question myself as I give that answer, but it's really the truth.  It might be because I'm distracted and a bit detached, but I think it's still a healthy place to be for me right now.

I find so much joy in feeling Abby wiggle in my belly.  This is the first pregnancy that I've not been wierded out by a baby moving in my belly.  I've just always gone through a stage where it was a bit strange to comprehend that something was alive inside of me.  It felt so foreign.  Not to worry, I always made it past that stage and loved all those baby movements.  But this time I never had the transition.

And when I stop to think about it, I'm sad that I only have 4 weeks left of this pregnancy, of any pregnancy.  I love being pregnant.  I love growing a baby, knowing my body is doing something so amazing, and anticipating meeting the little person.   It feels so familiar to me at this point.  I can't believe we've done this 4 times.  Amazing.

I can't wait to meet Abigail.  I am just so eager to touch her.  And so sad that once she is here this stage is over, and I won't be coming back to it.  As much as I'm willing time to slow down, it won't.  Each day holds a new blessing, a new page in our life so I guess I shouldn't keep hoping to have life slow down.  Instead I can just try to be present in the current day and hopeful for what each new day will bring.

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