We had a doctors appointment today. Everything is going along great. Abby is 3lbs 7ozs. She is small, but continuing to grow steadily. At this point I think it's fair to hope that she'll be around 5 pounds at birth. And all other areas of her health seem to remain steady (big heart problem but no other major problems). We're so blessed.
I realize lately as people ask me how I'm doing that I'm doing great. Sometimes I question myself as I give that answer, but it's really the truth. It might be because I'm distracted and a bit detached, but I think it's still a healthy place to be for me right now.
I find so much joy in feeling Abby wiggle in my belly. This is the first pregnancy that I've not been wierded out by a baby moving in my belly. I've just always gone through a stage where it was a bit strange to comprehend that something was alive inside of me. It felt so foreign. Not to worry, I always made it past that stage and loved all those baby movements. But this time I never had the transition.
And when I stop to think about it, I'm sad that I only have 4 weeks left of this pregnancy, of any pregnancy. I love being pregnant. I love growing a baby, knowing my body is doing something so amazing, and anticipating meeting the little person. It feels so familiar to me at this point. I can't believe we've done this 4 times. Amazing.
I can't wait to meet Abigail. I am just so eager to touch her. And so sad that once she is here this stage is over, and I won't be coming back to it. As much as I'm willing time to slow down, it won't. Each day holds a new blessing, a new page in our life so I guess I shouldn't keep hoping to have life slow down. Instead I can just try to be present in the current day and hopeful for what each new day will bring.