Friday, July 20, 2012

July 20th, 2012

We're scheduled for Monday night.  Hoping to help my body enjoy a slow labor and deliver on Tuesday during the day.

We talked with the hospital about our "favorite" nurse.  She helped deliver Nathan.  I just remember her loving and kind demeanor as she guided me through labor.  I guess they have already told her that we're coming in and they are working on doing some schedule changes so she can hopefully deliver us again.  Amazing.  This hospital is so wonderful.  Diana Z (the nurse) has some experience with similar deliveries so she feels comfortable and confident assisting us.  She also has good ideas for photography and keepsakes.  What a blessing.  Even if we don't get to spend time with Diana I feel so blessed that the hospital is working to make this experience so positive for us.

I'm ready to meet Abby.  I know this weekend will go quickly, and I'm thankful for that.  I feel like I'm "staying strong" but the cracks are showing.  My doctor asked me if I was ready and unexpected tears sprung into my eyes.  I'm ready.  And I hope she comes before I start to get too scared.

We also talked about how small she is.  At this point we are thinking she's probably in the 4 pound range.  My belly is so small, and even then it's squishy.  Sometimes I wonder where she is hiding.  If she's not moving around my mind starts to play tricks on me, like maybe she's gone.  Maybe this was all a weird dream.

So soon we will touch her and hold her.  And hopefully bring her home with us.  I know it will be a difficult and very different experience but I am really looking forward to whatever this next stage holds for us.  Just trying to focus on the blessings that fill our life, the joy that fills my belly and the hope for what is ahead.  Whatever it is, it will be a change.  And change is good.

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