Okay, so I did it once, and thought it was a fluke... then I just did it again. This could be trouble...
Today, someone inquired about me just having a baby.
"Oh, did you have a girl or a boy?"
(cue: uncomfortable smile creeping onto my face. She clearly doesn't know the story).
"I had a girl." <long uncomfortable pause>
Because how do you drop that bomb?
"Um, she died." (accompanied by LAUGHTER... really, a smile and laughter as I said that. It's horrible, I don't know why I keep responding that way.)
Look of horror on girls face.
"No, no, it's okay! (it is????) We knew she was expected to have a short life..." (my explanation wasn't that smooth).
I clearly need to have a mental script to get through this scenario when it catches me off guard. Continuing to have a silly grin on my face and laugh while I deliver shocking news is not going to work. I know it comes from being nervous, I just know I'm about to share really unexpected and uncomfortable information. But I don't think I'm helping the situation at all. It's not like the person can join me and laugh.
The upside? My best friend made an ass of herself also. She just looked over at me with a "what are you going to say?" face and we both started laughing together. (she had heard the story from a few days ago).
That's what best friends are for, right? To let you know you're not alone, to let you know you are lovable even when you're being completely socially awkward.