Last night I had some good conversations about Abby. (I didn't make an ass of myself)
I'm in a good place right now.
I think our journey seems more tragic to other people. It doesn't feel tragic to us. I remember at the beginning when Trever thought we were "being positive about a negative situation". And then one day he said "I don't think of this as a negative situation anymore".
He was, he is, right.
Our experience wasn't negative. It's not something tragic in our lives. It's something beautiful.
I'm so thankful for the experience. For being able to embrace life and all it has to offer. For being able to show little Abigail that we love her, and also to honor the life she was meant to have.
Sure I wish that her life had been longer. But regardless of it's length, it was still a blessing to me to share in her life.
I won't pretend that there won't still be sadness, but right now I am just full of joy. I can't help but to smile as I look at her picture.
And I love to listen to my children talk about her. Natalie was rambling on in the backseat tonight about how Abigail was littler than she is. I'm so glad she still talks about her. And it's awesome that she will always have someone in our family that was smaller than her. She also talked about how she got to hold Abby, how we all took turns. How she sang her a song when she held her.
I love it. It warms my heart so much that the kids can remember her and embrace the moments that they shared. That they can remind us that she is always in our hearts, so we don't have to be sad. She is always with us.
It's true. She is a part of our story. Life is made up of so many stories and she will always be one of the most treasured stories in my life.