This week has been so wonderful. I feel like I woke up on Monday feeling amazing. A have mostly been walking around in a bubble of happiness.
I think the grief support group had really put me over the edge of anxiety.
Although our trip to Hawaii was really great, it also came with a lot of baggage/emotional stress. We hadn't really been home long enough for me to decompress when I got the call about the grief group.
The meeting got cancelled. I wasn't pleased. I had fought so hard to prepare for the occasion. Wasted energy. When I decide to try it again I'm going to remember not to waste that energy. And if it doesn't seem to offer me the support I need I just won't go again.
Through all the emotions: the ups, the downs the balance place in the middle, Trever has been amazing. He is the quintessential partner. We are in this game of life together. It's nice to be reminded that he is my partner, my husband, my friend. We are determined to be a team, to support each other and to continue learning about the other persons (as well as our own) needs. I really like "us", and I know he does too. It's awesome.
Natalie and I have been talking about Abigail a lot the last couple of days. She pulls out the "guest book" and looks at the pictures.
It makes me happy. I like knowing that my kids have a special place in their heart for their little sister.
Nathan continues to remind us that Abigail is in his heart. That he doesn't have to be sad and miss her.
But he also agreed with Natalie (and us, of course) that he wishes she had stayed around. Natalie says that she wishes Abigail lived with us so she could give her kisses and sing to her.
Natalie also wishes that I would have 3 girl babies and 3 boy babies. Poor thing wants a sister so badly. Makes me sad for her. She is such a love.