Some days I struggle with the idea of answered prayers.
It's easy to question whether God is listening to all of my prayers. To see the answers to my prayers. There are times that my prayers seem so simple, yet feel unanswered.
And it's easy to pray for something and then forget to acknowledge the answer.
It's easier to question God's presence in life than it is to give credit.
When I find myself wishing we had more time with Abby it's hard to see her 25 hours of life as the answer to my prayers.
But those 25 hours are the miracle that I can come back to for the rest of my life. It was exactly what I had asked for, more than I had actually asked for. I'm sure I could go back and find our actual prayer written down.
I know I asked for strength, for peace, for moments being able to hold her and kiss her. To look into her eyes.
My head is spinning right now as I realize how clearly my prayers were answered.
When we would watch her heart in the ultrasounds we were shocked by what we saw. Trever was amazed that she could even sustain herself during the pregnancy. She wasn't really sustaining herself, I was doing the work for her. God was giving us a gift.
I'm jealous of the families who have more time with their children who have Trisomy 18, but I also need to recognize how many families don't get to experience what we had. Each story is written differently. And I'm so thankful for ours.
"A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips". That is the concept I think of with this experience. Although our time with Abby was so brief, it will be with us for our lifetime.
It was about a year ago that we conceived Abby. What a year.