Thursday, October 25, 2012

October 25th, 2012

I don't live by a calendar.  Most days I'm not sure what day of the week it is much less what day of the month.  So I keep getting surprised by these "month-birthdays".

3 months ago I was holding my little girl.  We had told our friends we didn't want visitors, but right around this time of night we changed our mind.  We held her and knew that the end was coming, but we were able to smile because she was still with us.  And we had such a great time celebrating Abigail with all our friends.

 This picture was taken at noon.

Such a special moment sitting outside and feeling the warmth.  
This picture was taken around 7:30pm.

My heart aches as I remember our little angel.  My chest feels like a dam that is about to burst.  Looking at pictures and knowing the story is so difficult.  She just looked so tired by this time of night on the day she was born.  Her body had been working so hard, she looks a little like an old lady.

The top picture is one of my very favorite.  I find myself mesmerized just staring at her.

The bottom picture is one of my fondest memories with Abby.  Nothing clouded our time with her during our moments outside.  And there was something surreal about going outside, about being part of this world with our little girl.  We were so thankful to have a moment to show her God's amazing creation on Earth before she went to be with Him.

I believe in God, and I believe in life, and I believe in Heaven.  And I believe there are so many things that we don't know... that some people like to think they know, but we really don't.  And I wonder, if reincarnation works in harmony with God's plan... did Abby just reach her last stage of life?  Wouldn't that be the ultimate life?  To know you were wanted, then to know that your parents wanted to give you whatever life you would naturally have.  In a sense she was chosen twice.  Then you get 25 hours surrounded by love.  And in such a peaceful way, you get to drift off and leave this world for the last time.

What a gift.  A gift for her, and a gift for us.  Happy 3 month birthday my sweet girl.

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