Tuesday, November 27, 2012

November 27th, 2012

It amazing how complex grief can be.

I really felt so comforted as I wrote my post last night.

But then I ended up feeling emotionally empty, and essentially crying myself to sleep.

I can't remember the last time I cried.

It feels strange to even write that, for more reasons than I could possible articulate.

I wouldn't change one decision we made with this journey (in terms of the big decisions), I know Trever wouldn't either.  I'm so thankful, and, but... I can't finish that sentence.  In the end it's true.  I'm just so thankful.  My thankfulness overrides my sadness, my emptiness, my longing.  But it doesn't actually take them away.

I guess it's good to just embrace the fact that sadness and joy are not exclusive, they can inhabit me at the same time.  They do inhabit me at the same time.

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