Sunday, August 12, 2012

A note about some of our nurses

As we greeted friends before the service for Abigail the one moment that made me the most emotional was seeing two of our wonderful nurses who came to celebrate with us.  They were both such a big part of our story, they offered so much support and encouragement during this process.  My eyes filled with tears as I embraced them.  The last time we were with Vivian, Abby was alive.  Vivian was the person who made me feel safe and valid when I was afraid that Abby wasn't moving anymore during labor (not discounting Trever's support).  Vivian was the person who guided us through the transition when we realized Abigail was near the end of her life.  She was there to answer my questions, and she did so in a calm and straight forward manner.  She was so empathetic.  It's amazing how great it feels to have someone just listen and be empathetic and not act like they know what I'm going through.  It bugs me to have someone try to "coach" me.

Diana was with us as we arrived at the hospital.  And then she was with us a we walked out.  We have remembered Diana so fondly since we met her almost 6 1/2 years ago.  She was a calming presence to me during my delivery with Nathan.  I think I already wrote about how much we enjoyed seeing Diana as we arrived at the hospital.  Such a gift.  Then she arrived and took care of us in the morning after Abigail had passed away.  She sat with us and held Abby, talked with us about Abby's life and shared stories from her own life.  She embraced Abby in such a tender way.  Trever was touched as deeply as I was.

We were so honored to have both Diana and Vivian join us to celebrate Abigail's life.

They brought a gift and a card from Kylie.  Kylie was the nurse who was with us our first night in the hospital.  Then she came back on shift the next night and helped us through delivery.  She encouraged us to make the decisions that felt right for us.  Somehow she walked into the room and was able to match our mood.  When we were up she laughed with us, when we were feeling aprehensive she was calm.  She encouraged us without saying trite comments, without saying she knew how we felt, without making any comparisons to her own life or other labor stories.  It's amazing how saying very few words can really give the most love.  Kylie helped to bring Abby into the world, maybe more wonderful is that she assisted Trever as he welcomed Abby into his own hands.  Then she bathed Abby (Trever decided he wanted her to do it).  She held her so lovingly, washed her so carefully.  She took amazing care of all 3 of us.  Really, she provided support to our entire family, thinking of the needs that might arise and offering options to fill those needs (an extra room for sleeping, etc.).  Kylie's card was full of wonderful thoughts, sending us love and showing us that she felt connected to our story.  She will always be part of our memories when we think of Abigail.  She also sent us a lotion that she had made in remembrance of Abigail.  I love it.  And I don't love most scents.  The lotion smells like baby and comfort combined.

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