I decided I needed to add a disclosure to the start of this blog. When we found out that our baby girl was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 I knew it would be helpful for me to keep an journal. Writing out my feelings helps me to process.
Since life is busy I decided to take the easiest route and start an online journal. I figured a blog was the best format because I want to be able to publish this into a book that we can keep for the future. I've already found it interesting to read back over some of my posts, and I know I'll do more of that in the future. I really wanted to have an accurate account of what this stage in our life was like. It's all been so overwhelming that I think I wouldn't do it justice to try to recall it accurately.
I'm hopeful that my kids might want to know more about their little sister someday, and possibly want to know what this experience was like for us. I would love to have a journal from my parents, something that showed what the experiences of my early years were like for them. Of a hardship especially.
After keeping this blog for about a month we decided to share it with our friends. That wasn't the original goal, but I think it has been interesting for a lot of people and actually had an impact on some. I'm thankful that Abigail can impact people with the time that she has with us.
Now that this is public I am also hopeful that it might shed light on this path for someone in the future who may encounter a similar diagnosis. Making the choice to give their child whatever life is ahead is not easy. Making a choice to terminate the pregnancy isn't easy either. Neither option is without pain, there is no "easy out". What I would really hope is that families are given more encouragement to take some time to make the decision and then strongly encouraged to seek counseling for whichever path they choose.
I don't write for anyone by myself, so I try not to edit. I want this to be truthful and translucent. I want to look back and acknowledge both the pain and the happiness. Trever and I both believe that life is wonderful, and that includes the highs and the lows. We also believe that we get our strength from God, and that we can learn lessons from every situation. Our biggest goal is to be true to how we feel, at the same time keeping our focus on all that we have to be grateful for. (As a side note, it NEVER helps when someone tries to remind you of this... it has to come from the inside).
We're so curious, excited, scared, anxious and thankful to see where this journey carries us and our family.