Tuesday, April 24, 2012

April 24th, 2012

Yesterday I was still feeling great, so I started gathering up the kids to go to a play group that I often don't attend.  It was just so beautiful, I figured we would have a great time.

Then I started getting anxiety.  I was enjoying my good mood, and I was worried that being around a lot of mom's who don't know what is going on wasn't going to help continue my mood.  If no one knew I could have made it through, but some people do.  And that shouldn't matter, I know they would let me talk or not talk as I wished.  But I'm not comfortable feeling like I'm telling partial truths especially when I'm in mixed company (ie some people know the whole story).  As I write this I realize that it's my decision, and I can do what I feel like. I'm kind of wishing I had just gone.  In reality I think it was safer for me and my mood to just stay home.  Although I was feeling good, it wasn't as good as Sunday and I'm a bit gun shy of feeling depressed again so soon.

So the kids and I stayed home.  We still enjoyed the sunshine (mid 70's in April?!?!?!).  We surprised Trever by washing both cars, then we set up a pool and completely took advantage of relaxing in the sun.  I think I even got some color. :)

Today has been similar to yesterday.  I'm doing good, feeling fairly good but feeling a bit unsteady.  A bit unstable.  It's always a bit easier with Trever around.  I just love being able to spend time together as a family.

Tomorrow we meet with our Olympia doctor.  It'll be our first "normal" visit in about 10 weeks.  I'll miss seeing Abbygirl on the ultrasound, but I'm looking forward to just doing the routine (pee in a cup, bp, weight ... okay, maybe I'm not too excited to see what I've gained over 10 weeks!).  We'll be back to Tacoma in less than 2 weeks to do another ultrasound.  I guess that's the upside of this pregnancy, getting to see Abby on a regular basis.

She kicked me hard enough today that I almost felt my arm move.  I'm so thankful she is strong and active.  It gives me hope that she has a better chance of making it through birth and spending time with us.

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