Trever and I decided to wait until April to work on the details of Abigails arrival. He wanted us to have time to digest the information and adjust to it before we headed into the unwelcome aspects.
Trever shocked me when he told about what he has been doing. He doesn't bring up his thoughts about Abby very often, other than to enjoy her kicks.
He called the county ME's office. He registered her. ??? I would never have thought about doing that. Now they know we are expecting her, and they will get paperwork from our doctor to confirm that she has T18. This way when she dies we won't have anyone investigating the situation. We still have to call 911 to confirm the death, but the process will be "simple" for them at that point.
What a horrible thing to have to think about, plan for and do when you are expecting a child. I'm so thankful that I have a husband who knows a bit about the death process. I know it would have been worse to have someone questioning us in our time of sorrow.
We also talked about what we would use to carry her to the cremation site. What we would put her in afterward. Really? This is my child, how can I make those decisions without pain? I'm sure some people would want a beautiful Urn. I don't. I want something simple that can be disposed when she's returned to the earth. I don't want years of staring at a box thinking of the sadness. I don't want to move someday and think "what do we want to do with this?". I don't want our other kids going through our stuff someday and finding such a significant box and feeling conflicted about it.
Trever also mentioned wanting to make her a quilt. Something that is filled with pieces of love from the people in our life. I'm excited about that. And so touched that he started planning out the idea. That will be a keepsake that will honor the love that surrounds her life, our life.
I have the most wonderful husband. I am so blessed.