Wednesday, April 25, 2012

April 25th, 2012

We met with our Olympia OB today.  I had been looking forward to meeting with him.  I think I've mentioned before how fortunate I feel with our medical team.  We are able to talk candidly with both doctors and we are blessed to have a spiritual connection with both.  Talking with Dr. Bell was a good reminder that we are the only ones accountable for our decisions concerning Abby's care.  There will be pros and cons to each decision and we will hopefully be confident in making the decisions based on her needs, our needs and the needs of our family.  We already know we don't want to do a lot of medical intervention, but we want to balance that with keeping her comfortable and giving her a chance at life.

We've decided to continue our prenatal care in Olympia and then add in visits to Tacoma.  It will be easier on our family and so much more convenient as we head into appointments every 2 weeks and then weekly.  I can't believe how quickly the time is starting to go.

I've been feeling so thankful that life is back to a normal speed. And I'm so eager for the chance to meet Abigail.  At the same moment I find myself feeling that familiar panic that we're getting closer to the reality of this situation.  My heart tightens a bit wondering how the experience will unfold.  I know I would rather embrace life than avoid life so I need to cherish each movement that Abby gives in my belly and keep an open mind towards what we will experience the day she gets here.  And hopefully the days after that.

I've mentally prepared myself that we will be so blessed if we get a month with her, I need to start to open my heart to the idea that we may very well have more time than that.  That said, I still just hope for at least minutes.  And I'm starting to realize that it will still be okay if we only get to hold her after she has left us.  She has still had a life, she has still made such a big impact on our family, she will be with us forever.

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