It's been so nice to be out among people the last few days. Not just people, but friends.
This morning we tried a new church. We've tried various churches during the last few years but haven't found our home yet. I'm hopeful that this will become our church home. The pastor is actually someone that I knew in high school, a friend of someone I had tremendous respect for. I enjoyed the way he read through the passage, the way he tried to educate. I think our most touching take-away was the focus on loving others. Christ is the foundation of our faith and our goal is to love others, so the fit seems to be off to a good start.
I woke up this morning being so happy that I seem to be feeling so close to normal lately. And then we dropped our kids off (never super easy for me when it's somewhere new), walked in to the sanctuary and the music started. Instantly I was a waterfall of tears. I couldn't stop them, I didn't really want to stop them. I was overwhelmed with comfort and sadness.
Some days it is refreshing to just let the tears flow (when I say some days I mean that in terms of my "past" life). Today it felt right to allow myself to cry, but I was left feeling sad. And then I've just been wiped out all day. We napped, then I've been a bit of a zombie. I'm so thankful to the people who have brought us food. Recently my Aunt and Uncle filled our freezer with food... there are not thanks big enough. On days like today I'm three steps behind when taking care of my family. I actually think my kids like the food on these days so much more... I better not let them in on why they are eating so "great", they may start to encourage my crying. That's not even funny, is it? They wouldn't do that, their little hearts are so full of love an compassion.
We're one day closer to meeting this darling girl, she's wiggling and kicking and helping me remember to smile. I love her so much and cannot wait to hold her!